His name was Polybius

His name was Polybius, and he was an engineer that got tired of engineering and decided to teach ungrateful brats advanced algebra. I remember him telling me that an avocado was worth more than eternal happiness. It was curious; I forgot the context he told me this, but I took it to heart. What did it mean? Why an avocado? The following is the conclusion I came to, as well as how I came to that conclusion

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. It is derived from pleasure, joy and contentment. Happiness is mostly a good thing. But, it loses value should it become a permanent thing in your life. Happiness… happiness is abstract.

Maybe he came from this in a materialist perspective? Polybius is not a man of faith, but a man of numbers. Perhaps he had faith in numbers? No, he had faith in his students, which I hope is not erroneously placed. But yes, happiness and its abstract nature is difficult to quantify. So, it is easier to grasp at an avocado and it’s worth than eternal happiness.

But I returned to the nature of happiness itself as an answer. Is happiness good? I don’t feel happy in this exact moment. I don’t feel sad either. I am in a state of pensiveness and creation, no deriving any particular positive or negative emotions. But… when I think about it more clearly, I am writing, I am writing whatever this is supposed to be, and I feel joy, content… I am happy that I am writing this. Even if nobody reads it, it won’t matter. I am creating something, and it is a task I wanted to perform for so long. But then…

Then I think about the last time I had sexual contact with omeone. Despair and sadness arise. Then I think about how my ex-girlfriend broke up with me in a pretty terrible manner, and how we sadly have feelings for each other still. Rage, disappointment… But I am writing, and that negativity is quelled. Yes, this is a reflection on the nature of my emotions.

I am not supposed to be happy all the time. I would lose my drive, my passion, if all I felt was happiness. Eternal emotions are stagnant, boring. I am not happy, but I will enjoy happiness as it comes. And that is the point, eternal happiness is but a pipe dream meant to manipulate us… it is destined to leave us incomplete. We cannot live this life in eternal happiness. We should not expect the next life, if it so exists, to be happy. It is not correct. God would not give us eternal happiness. The Universe could not give us eternal happiness. The omniverse would not give us eternal happiness.

Thusly, eternal happiness is of no worth to anyone. An avocado, in all sense of the word, is worth more than eternal happiness. Not worth more than happiness, because emotions are worth more than a single avocado. But more than eternal happiness.

I fucking hate avocados though, and I might take eternal happiness just to numb my shitty existence.

by Porrata


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